If only Resumes told the truth!
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OBJECTIVE: To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior.
EDUCATION
School: Very Expensive
Major: Not Important
GPA: Don't Ask
EMPLOYMENT and past Experience
* NETWORK MANAGEMENT (Present): Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch. Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those messages.
* DEBT CONSOLIDATION (7/06-10/07): Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father.
* RESIDENT INHALER (9/04-6/06): Assisted all students with chemical intake from purchasing to exhaling.
COMPUTER SKILLS
* Solitaire
* Minesweeper
* On/Off Repair Method
HONORS AND AWARDS
* First Place in Hot Dog eating and beer drinking tournaments.
* Said Toast at brother's wedding.
* Highest Score on Pin Ball Machine.
For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.
"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."
http://www.google.com/profiles/samson13.
Face it... Fight it
SAMSON :-)
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